“Metroid: Zero Mission AGAIN?!”
Honestly it didn’t take all too long, I just started playing the game 1 week ago.
It was a great game which game me some emotional experiences that had the potential of bringing out diarrheal bouts because of the stress they invoked such as when…:
1. …I saw Kraid for the first time. He’s humongous! I literally exclaimed “Shit!” when I saw him.
2. …I fled from Mother “The Mama” Brain. But seeing as I already anticipated it I experienced more of an adrenaline rush than loose stools.
3. …you’re sneaking past the Space Pirates wearing nothing but spandex and having a weak Stun Gun in your hand. I disliked this part the most! But I have to give the producers credit for making you feel helpless.
4. … I defeated RoboRiley and had to escape. Again. Torrents of fecal matter accumulated in my being as I accomplished this feat. I’m sorry if you were eating something while reading this!
Kraid scared me after I was presented with this beautiful cutscene. Yes, I’m easily spooked.
Three things really surprised me in this game:
1. The game doesn’t end with Mother Brain as the original did. You crash land and will, as I explained earlier, have to go trough a painfully stressful “covert mission” type of gameplay while you dodge bullets and stun the Space Pirates.
2. This part gives you some backstory to Samus which is awesome.
3. You’ll get the original Metroid game for NES unlocked, along with cheat codes who enable infinite life and stuff in the game, and for me this was perfect. I planned on experiencing the first game anyways and actually thought of buying the Gameboy Advance NES Series release of the game, but as I settled for this game I actually did emerge a winner. Not as great a winner like Charlie Sheen but still!
Here’s a screenshot of my clear time and item collection rate:
Yeah, I beat it in Easy mode… but for a non-hardcore gamer like me that’s as close I’ll get to doing it. And seeing how the Normal mode wasn’t as hard halfway through I feel comfortable to say that I consider this game completed. Maybe I’ll try to beat the other difficulties later but for now I’m content. For those of you who don’t know the completion time for hardcore gamers is about 1-1,5 hours and the completion rate 100%.
You’ll have to wait for the full review in my Top 10 Gameboy Advance games list (which will take some time to complete as I have a bunch of games I recently bargained that I’ll have to play first, or else I won’t have enough material to write with).
Samus doesn’t have to worry about experiencing loose stools in this suit as it has a Fecal Disposal Unit (F.D.U.). But when it’s broken, during the Space Pirate part of the game, she has to visit several W.C.’s cleverly disguised as Save Points.