Just look at this amazingly retro 80’s ad. I have a hard time imagining kids wanting to look like that today, though I’d nag my parents to no end to get this gear when I was a kid. I wasn’t even aware apparel wearing the Nintendo logo even existed until I was much older. The prices aren’t even too off when compared to current ones I’ve seen in the US during my travels.
Show your allegiance with the Nintendo Power Patches. Collect all six.
This sounds almost militant in some way, maybe that’s because I never was much of a sports fan (aside from Martial Arts) when growing up. Where would you fit all six of these anyways?
Arm yourself with a Camerica CAC280 Supersonic Joystick with wireless remote.
Alright, this is positively militant, just a little hint of violence to promote merchandise to little kids. A wireless remote is pretty rad though, and displaying the model numbers sure made products seem more futuristic so kudos for that.
Take cover under this Ninetendo Cap. 5 designs in Men’s/ Children’s sizes.
Considering the previous three sentences I’d conclude that they’re not meaning that you should take cover from ordinary rain under this cap- they want you to take cover from a bullet rain. What’s also interesting is the typo. Can you spot it?
If you don’t believe me check the original image.
Also it’s notable that they have 5 different designs in Men’s and Children’s sizes. What about the Women? Right, they weren’t considered gamers back then, my bad. There was a huge market to exploit over there if they’d paid enough attention.
Gear up for the games in this Nintendo Sweatshirt.
Gear up? You needed gearing up for Nintendo games? That explains why I wasn’t The Wizard while playing video games as a kid. Wait, the other kids that were great at games didn’t have Nintendo gear either… Well, at least it’d make you look good.
Honor your victories with Nintendo Pins. Collect all eighteen.
What were they trying to do, convince parents that Nintendo will teach them the basic values needed when they’re would enlist when grown up? This sounds like something out of Mortal Kombat. “Honor your victories!” I don’t have a hard time understanding how one would fit eighteen pins on clothing, I’ve seen it done both on backpacks and caps.
Go where the action is with the Z-Bag HD28Q Nintendo Custom Carrying Case.
Seriously, what’s up with these super-complex product names? It does sound cool though! It also happens to feature High Definition (HD), as evidenced by the model name. Also, I wonder what they mean with “go where the action is” as it obviously should be at home, you know, as they said in the Nintendo commercials back then? So in conclusion one would presume they mean that you should take the bag from your bedroom to your living room.
Take the offensive using the MPI Video. You’ll learn the secrets of 22 Nintendo games.
Yeah, take the offensive, man!