Unlikely Versus No. 11: Donkey Kong vs. Donkey Kong

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Today we will pit the original Donkey Kong against the remake from the 90’s, Donkey Kong!

 

Their shared backgrounds:

The Original Donkey Kong is stated to be none other than Cranky Kong. He shares the same appearance as his relative but doesn’t have the same haircut. He does have a tie though, in Donkey Kong -94, which he passes on along with his title to his grandson. He’s in Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr. (where his son is to rescue him), Donkey Kong 3, and Donkey Kong -94 (it has to be him as the game also stars Donkey Kong Jr.). We’ll call him Cranky Kong from now on.

Donkey Kong, the remake, is actually the grandson (as most official sources state) of Cranky Kong. What happened to his father, Donkey Kong Jr., is not known. He usually lazies about collecting bananas, but shows great strength and dexterity when push comes to shove. We’ll call him Donkey Kong from now on.

To make things more even, we’re pitting them against each other in their primes!

Their strenghts:

Cranky Kong is not only strong enough to continually throw heavy barrels but can even produce fire. He can climb well and is strong (or heavy) enough to jump so that construction sites completely break, with beams and support failing under his force. His stamina is huge, as he can hang in vines for a long time (Donkey Kong 3) and throw barrels continuosly (Donkey Kong). He seems wise and knowledgeable (Donkey Kong Country) which gives him an edge over his grandson, though we can’t tell if that’s because of age or not (as he seems to have had a bad temper in his first adventures). At the very least, his intelligence should be average. He’s also sarcastic, which is theorized to be indicative of higher intelligence, and uses most modern appliances well.

Donkey Kong has less brute force, but more agility and dexterity overall. He can run fairly fast, and though strong enough to throw barrels, he hasn’t been shown to be strong enough to topple construction sites through sheer jumping strength alone. He isn’t the smartest of primates in his universe, but has the skills of using everyday items such as TV’s and is able to ride animals. Intelligence-wise he’s comparable to an average human being. He’s also able to play a lot of different sports, and is currently one of the strongest boxers in the Punch Out!! universe, where he’s a secret fighter. Though his technique is unorthodox it’s shown to be very effective.

Their weaknesses:

Cranky Kong still has a bad temper when he’s older, which may imply that he should have a short temper as a youth that would be able to exploit. While giving in to his anger would make him stronger, he would lose his wits. He doesn’t seem to be all that agile either, being brought up in the city, focusing instead on brute force.

Donkey Kong lacks in strength, and isn’t even the most powerful Kong in the family (Cranky showing stronger feats, and Chunky and Funky arguably being stronger when it comes to sheer force). He is well rounded though, with a good balance between strength, agility and dexterity. He doesn’t seem all to bright though, and doesn’t seem to be able to speak very well at all.

The Verdict:

I reckon Donkey Kong would be able to take Cranky Kong down with agility- he’s felled bigger and stronger foes still as is it. I doubt a younger Cranky Kong would be able to outsmart his grandson in a fight- as he’d lose his temper. I mean, if a small carpenter/plumber with great jumping ability is able to beat him- then it wouldn’t be inconcievable that a stronger dexterious less evolved primate such as Donkey Kong Jr Jr could take him down. Add a little wisdom to the elder ape- well, then we might have an opponent that few Mario Universe characters can take down.

 

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The Luigi that Wanted to be a Mario

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This plushie is supposed to be a Mario one, but you can’t fool me. This is the Luigi that wanted to be a Mario. This is Luigi, no doubt. He’s thinner and has a longer face. He’s curled his mustache up and dressed up in Mario gear. Can this be a Halloween get-up?

I can tell you that of all the Mario plushies, this was is the only one looking off. So is this off-looking Mario actually Luigi in disguise?

Glitchin’!

My NES started to act up, having a new connector and all, last time I played on it with my brother. It probably got some dust in the connector, but I was smart enough to not blow it. Learn from history, and your and others’ past mistakes, and don’t blow into the cartridges. They do remove the dust but the humid exhaled air will slowly corrode the contacts.IMG_6733

Anyhow, it seems as if the games started to glitch, and I suspect there was a glitch gremlin in there messing everything around. One could’ve said “Son of a Glitch” but instead I was amused. Seeing a glitchy version of Mario Bros. was glitchin’ and it was all fun and dandy until the game crashed. Sure, this is Nintendo we’re talking about so there was no blood, but watching a Koopa and a Crab and poor ole Luigi exploded in a whole lot of pieces was a bit weird, but still amusing. Rest in Pieces, Luigi.

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So we inserted Blue Shadow (Shadow of the Ninja in the US) instead and lo and behold: a glitchy title screen that we couldn’t get past and which read BLHAI” SHAD6”’ TM TM.
You could choose to play SPTAMER or APTAMERS, and I never knew Vatsuue published the game! I always thought it was Natsume (Serious Fun!)
Also, this game is Licevced by Vintendg CG. Sc vhat’s vvhy it’z gvichy!

You Snooze, You Lose.

2015-06-30 16.02.35I wanted to share this Nintendo 64 ad from the first Super Play issue of ’97. It basically says that tens and thousands of video game fans have marked 1st of May ’97 in their calendars, and that the interest at the introduction of the system in Japan and the US was overwhelming and that we are to see windling queues in Sweden too. And with that knowledge in our hands the people behind the ad conclude that since there weren’t enough units to meet the demands of the Japanese and Americans we will get the same issue in Sweden (hah!) and they thus recommend us to pre-order our units.

Awesome things about this ad:

  • They’ve plastered those ever-so-present 3D Marios on the ad, as a testament of that era, which is nostalgilicious!
  • They released the N64 1st of March ’97 and expected huge sales… or at least tried to build up the hype.
  • You snooze, you lose! That means Mario is losing! Oh no!
  • Hah! They really miscalculated the popularity of the system- sure, supply was scarce at the beginning, and even though the games were ace, it never sold as great as its arch nemesis, the Sony Playstation. What a revenge you had, Sony, what a great revenge…

 

Miiverse Artwork and Mii Crafting

If there’s one thing I love in MiiVerse (other than the hilarious Mii designs that pop out here and there) it’s the artwork done by the rudimentary drawing application in the system. Somehow people manage to circumvent the limitations to create amazing artwork. While I haven’t yet seen stuff that’s like Van Gogh or Da Vinci in nature, I’ve been able to gawk upon some other amazing drawings instead. Here’s some of the top ones that I just had to forward and share with you.

 

Mario Paint

This one is made by a allegedly bearded and long haired spectacle clad man by the name JB, or No_More_Bamboo. That’s an amazing Luigi homage there, and the attention to detail is amazing. You really have to love ole Weeg’ to be able to make something this awesome.

 

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And this Super Smash Bros. Wii U comment is gold. Hyrule sure could use the ever farting and adrenaline-packed Wario Man, which essentially is a costume clad Wario… with no actual added powers. That is to show that he doesn’t need anymore, he’s awesome enough as is!

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This one here is drawn by me, and is what you’ll see when visiting my profile. 100 points to the one who can name the reference source! If you wonder what’s off it’s that I forgot to draw his sideburns. Woe me.

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And last but not least my best attempt at creating a Mario Mii. There should be better examples out there, show me yours if you have made any!

 

Video Games in Media: Future Mario

Futurama MarioJust like in The Simpsons and South Park you can find a lot of references to video game characters in Futurama (which rocks, by the way) and here’s the referee of the Cosplay Contest in the futuristic Comic Con of 3010, in episode 99 (Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences).

And since he’s dressed like Mario he deserves a mention here in Video Games in Media.

 

Video Game Crafting: The Infinite Race Around The Hat

Super Mario Kart It’s done! Thank you Emily King for the idea! I wanted to add some kind of bond for the hat on top of the custom Game Boy stand that I’d made, and I got the suggestion to make one with a Super Mario Kart theme (which is an awesome suggestion by the way). What took time was settling on the design and then to actually print it. The circumference was larger than the average A4 sheet, so I had to print an extra black strip and Blu-Tack them together. Enjoy the results below! I know I sure am.

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As you can see I found a Wario sprite, even though he’s not in the game. That just shows how much of a Wario fan I am!

I also changed the SCART cable labels into something tidier. I printed new labels with my Dymo Label Maker using plastic paper:2015-06-01 13.31.06